Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

45 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just landed via Messenger:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Just shared via Twitch:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Home » Funny Self-assessment Quotes

Funny self-assessment quotes

Funny self-assessment quotes 😂 bring a hilarious twist to reflecting on ourselves! Whether you’re grading your skills or just poking fun at your quirks, these witty lines add a splash of humor 🎉 to honest self-reflection. Perfect for lightening the mood during review time or sharing a laugh with friends 🙌. Ready to smile while sizing yourself up? Let’s dive into some playful perspectives! 😄✨

New funny self-assessment quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Commentary:
"Who knew filling out forms could be a crime spree? 😂🔒 #TaxFraudInTraining"
4 months ago
Share →: Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Commentary:
"Watching Hoarders: The ultimate motivation for making even the messiest of spaces look fabulous! 🏡✨ Who needs cleaning supplies when you've got reality TV to compare with, right? 😆📺 #CleaningGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Commentary:
🍎🍌🍊 "Ah yes, the prestigious profession of a 'fruit stickerer' – where attention to detail and precision are essential! 🤹‍♂️ Who knew perfectly placing those tiny stickers could be such a ripe career choice? 🍇🍐 Remember, it's all about that peel-fection! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Commentary:
Looks like you've got quite the "multipersonality" party going on inside your head! 🎉🎭 With those scores, who needs friends when you can entertain yourself with all your different selves? 😂 #LifeOfTheParty

For even more funny self-assessment quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-assessment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

45 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Just landed via Messenger:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Shared recently on Discord:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Spotted on YouTube:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Spotted on Threads:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Going viral on Instagram:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Reported on Telegram:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴