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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,742

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Making waves on X:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Trending via Telegram:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Just landed via Slack:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Spotted on Telegram:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Funny self-employed quotes

Funny self-employed quotes bring a hilarious twist to the ups and downs of being your own boss 🎉💼 From juggling endless tasks to celebrating small wins, these witty sayings capture the rollercoaster ride of entrepreneurship 🚀😂 Whether you’re hustling from home or running your dream biz, get ready to laugh and relate—because self-employment is anything but boring! 🎯💡✨

New funny self-employed quotes 👇

All funny self-employed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

22 shares on X this month:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,853

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Spotted on Discord:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Just landed via TikTok:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just landed via Twitch:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Live now on Discord:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Going viral on Messenger:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

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