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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Just landed via WeChat:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Just landed via Slack:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Funny serving quotes

Funny serving quotes serve up a perfect blend of humor and hospitality 🍽️😂 Whether you’re a waiter, chef, or just love great food jokes, these witty lines will have you laughing through every course! 😄 From quirky takes on service to playful puns, get ready to spice up your day with some tasty giggles. Ready to dish out some smiles? Let’s dive in! 🍕🎉

New funny serving quotes 👇

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

0

2 months ago

activity, challenge, childhood, discipline, eviction, eviction notice, fort, humor, jobs, kids, kids activity, notice, parenting, parenting challenge, pillow, pillow fort, playful, playful discipline, serving
Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

0

2 months ago

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration
Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

0

2 months ago

diet, eating, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, joke, right, salsa, serving, vegetable
I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

0

2 months ago

expectations, food, humor, i, individuality, me, never, person, self-acceptance, serving, serving size, size, suggestion, wants
I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

0

2 months ago

bag, disrespectful, food, humor, i, independence, me, real, serving, serving size, size, snack, tell
I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

0

2 months ago

day, eating, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, napping, rest, serving, serving size, size, snack, times, wish

All funny serving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Trending via WeChat:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just shared via Slack:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Making waves on Facebook:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Spotted on Telegram:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

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