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Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has copied:

Hit my coworker with β€œyou’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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