Commentary:
"Watch out for the silent woman – she's plotting world domination while you're busy laughing at lion memes. 🦁👩💼💥"
48 Funny sign quotes
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.
Commentary:
"Reading between the lines of a 'Come grow with us' sign: Get ready to sprout some extra arms and legs, because you're in for a multi-tasking marathon! 🌱💼🏃♂️ #TeamOfOne"
Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.
Commentary:
Is it just me, or is cancer really pulling ahead in the zodiac race? ♋️🏁 Who knew an astrological sign could be such a tough competitor in the mortality department! Watch out, Capricorns and Geminis, Cancer is on a roll! 😉🦀
If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.
Commentary:
Looks like some thirsty customers might be getting the wrong idea at that store! 🐶💧 Time to make it clear with a sign before someone accidentally takes a sip and starts barking madly for a refund! 🤣
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.
Commentary:
"Who knew running the family business could vary so much between Mom's homemade cookies and, well, dictatorship? 🍪🇰🇵 #FamilyBusinessGoals"
I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.
Commentary:
"Oh no, it sounds like your gym membership might be hiding in the locker room! 🏋️♂️ Don't worry, maybe it's just doing some extra squats and push-ups on its own. 😂💪 It's always worth checking in with those elusive gym gains – they can be quite the sneaky little devils! 🕵️♂️ #MysteryOfTheMissingMuscles"
I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’
Commentary:
"Talk about the ultimate 'long-term commitment'! 😆👏 Nothing says 'I love you' quite like sticking with the joke through thick and thin! 💌💍 #RelationshipGoals"
I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.
Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! 🦁♌️ Leo in the house about to munch on your astrological signs like it's a cosmic buffet! 😂🍽️ Who knew zodiac signs could be so tasty? Better hide your horoscope!"
My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.
Commentary:
Looks like your dog is the ultimate bipartisan pee-ologist! 🐶🤣 Who knew our furry friends could play a part in the political process too? Maybe he's advocating for a "pawsome" unity party! 🐾 #Dogtatorship
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.
Commentary:
Thanks to my middle name, I'm officially "David Facebook Amazon Netflix Smith." Talk about an identity crisis! 😂📧🔍