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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,912

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Going viral on Twitch:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Going viral on X:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Seen just now on Discord:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Just landed via Instagram:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Trending via Messenger:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Funny slim quotes

Funny slim quotes bring a lighthearted twist to body positivity and self-love 🌟 Whether you’re celebrating your shape or just need a cheeky chuckle, these witty lines are here to brighten your day 😄 From playful jabs to clever comebacks, get ready to laugh and embrace your unique vibe with style and sass 💃✨ #SlimAndFunny #BodyPositivity

New funny slim quotes 👇

All funny slim quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

86 shares on X this month:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

28 shares on Reddit this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,910

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Broadcasted on X:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Just shared via Twitch:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Making waves on Threads:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Going viral on Slack:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴