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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Just shared via Messenger:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Funny sugar daddy quotes

New funny sugar daddy quotes 👇

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

3 weeks ago

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Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

4 weeks ago

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Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

4 weeks ago

daddy, dating, finance, humor, looking, money, online, online dating, pal, pay, pay pal, relationship, something, sugar, sugar daddy

All funny sugar daddy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

57 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

44 shares on Facebook this month:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Going viral on X:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Trending via Instagram:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Breaking via YouTube:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Shared recently on Slack:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny sugar daddy quotes

New funny sugar daddy quotes 👇

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

All funny sugar daddy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨