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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Making waves on Telegram:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Spreading quickly via X:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

13 Funny Thursday quotes

Funny Thursday quotes are the perfect way to laugh your way through the almost-weekend blues! 😄💼 Whether you’re feeling the midweek drag or just need a little pick-me-up, these quotes will get you smiling as you head toward Friday! ✨😂

New funny Thursday quotes 👇

For even more funny Thursday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Thursday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WeChat this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

55 shares on Slack this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Just landed via Threads:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Making waves on Facebook:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Making waves on Twitch:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

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