Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Making waves on YouTube:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Shared recently on X:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Making waves on Instagram:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Funny time machine quotes

Funny time machine quotes 🚀⏳ bring a hilarious twist to the idea of zipping through past and future moments! Whether you’re dreaming of fixing mistakes or just want a laugh about time travel chaos, these witty lines will have you chuckling in no time. Ready to take a lighthearted trip through time? Buckle up and enjoy the ride full of clever jokes and playful puns! 😂🕰️

New funny time machine quotes 👇

All funny time machine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Trending via Pinterest:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Going bananas on Telegram:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Live now on Telegram:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Seen just now on Slack:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Trending via Slack:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

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