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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Shared recently on Discord:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Going viral on Instagram:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Just landed via X:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Funny traits quotes

Funny traits quotes bring out the quirkiest sides of our personalities with a splash of humor 😂✨ Whether you’re a master of awkward moments or a pro at laughing at yourself, these witty lines celebrate all the little things that make us unique 😜🎉 Get ready to smile, nod, and maybe even share a laugh or two with these playful gems!

New funny traits quotes 👇

All funny traits quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

88 shares on Slack this month:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Making waves on Instagram:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Live now on Twitch:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on TikTok:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Live now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Freshly posted on Slack:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Just landed via Discord:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Going viral on X:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

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