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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Going viral on Twitch:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Funny upbringing quotes

Funny upbringing quotes bring a hilarious twist to those childhood memories and family moments we all love (and sometimes love to escape) 😂👶. They capture the chaos, quirks, and unconditional love that shape who we become, often with a side of witty wisdom 🤪💡. Whether you’re reminiscing or just need a laugh, these gems remind us that growing up is a wild, funny adventure worth celebrating 🎉👨‍👩‍👧‍👦!

New funny upbringing quotes 👇

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

4 weeks ago

humor, i, internet, love, microwave, normal, personality, quirky, raised, social, technology, unfortunately, upbringing
My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

1 month ago

humor, i, me, parents, practice, raise, rude, sarcasm, upbringing, wit
My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

1 month ago

dining, else, etiquette, expensive, generosity, humor, me, money, order, parents, paying, raise, situation, social, social situation, someone, something, upbringing

All funny upbringing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

18 shares on X this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

78 shares on X this month:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

12 shares on Threads this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Trending via Discord:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Seen just now on Slack:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Breaking via YouTube:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Going viral on Slack:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

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