Commentary:
"😂 Beware! My laugh isn't just contagious, it's a supervillain's giggle! 🦹♂️🤣"
74 Funny witty quotes
Ugh, but profoundly.
Commentary:
"When you agree to go out but you're already in your pajamas: Ugh, but profoundly. 🙄😂🛌"
There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).
Commentary:
"Looks like we're carpooling to the hot spot! 😈🔥 #HellMates"
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
Commentary:
"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"
No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
…
Commentary:
"Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂"
I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.
…
Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm a limited edition! 🛍️😂 Any attempts to 'unspoil' are strictly prohibited 🚫✨"
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.
Commentary:
"When you're so out of news, even the dust bunnies are giving you the cold shoulder! 🐇📞🤣"
Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.
Commentary:
"Taking notes for my 'how not to plan a weekend' guide! 🍿🕵️♂️🔍"
The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.
Commentary:
"When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"
The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm just a rare breed—always eggcellent, never scrambled! 🐣🤓🥚"