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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,854

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Just landed via Discord:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Shared recently on Twitch:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Home » Funny Words Quotes » Page 6

69 Funny words quotes

More funny words quotes 👇

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

0

2 months ago

adventure, exploration, humor, i, journey, know, shortcut, travel, words
You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

0

2 months ago

humor, Jersey, joke, know, mispronunciation, nude, play, play on words, pronounce, words
Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, around, carrying, conversation, humor, joke, just, meant, misunderstanding, spill, words
Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

0

2 months ago

asbestos, doing, effort, humor, i, joke, play, play on words, pun, wordplay, words
Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, childcare, come in, date, dropping, ever, gathering, hear, humor, kid, kids, moment, parent, play, play date, social, social gathering, words
Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, égalité, humor, liberté, play, play on words, second, words
I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

0

2 months ago

apology, french, humor, language, mispronunciation, soiree, wordplay, words
Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

0

2 months ago

brag, cashier, checking, checking out, flirt, humor, joke, me, play, play on words, relationship, words
Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

0

2 months ago

great, human, human interaction, humor, interaction, lab, learn, learning, mind, new, socializing, subconscious, subconscious mind, swear, swear word, word, words
IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

0

2 months ago

assembly, DIY, frustration, furniture, glossary, humor, IKEA, instructions, swear, swear word, Swedish, word, words

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

75 shares on Threads this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just shared via WeChat:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Making waves on YouTube:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Activity Log ✨

69 Funny words quotes

More funny words quotes 👇

All funny words quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨