Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going viral on YouTube:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Making waves on YouTube:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Going viral on Messenger:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Trending via WeChat:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Making waves on TikTok:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the cure for my ailments involves altitude and your charming company 🏔️😂✨

day, getaway, Google, googled, health, humor, i, just, mountain, nature, need, romantic, symptom, symptoms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

0

2 months ago

dad, degree, education, family, humor, joke, license, philosophy, sarcasm, unemployment
You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

0

2 months ago

before, casual, dessert, fitness, food, humor, i, know, pants, put, real, snack, yoga
A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

0

2 months ago

aging, big, confusion, forgetfulness, growing, growing up, humor, keys, knowing, life, memory
I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

0

2 months ago

confusion, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, kitchen, life, people, plastic, plastic wrap, struggle, wrap
Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

0

3 months ago

always, good, good thing, humor, joke, late, procrastination, punctuality, take, thing, things, time, why
Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

0

2 months ago

animals, being, funny situation, giraffe, humor, imagination, imagine, nausea, situation, throw, throw up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

81 shares on Discord this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

97 shares on Threads this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

17 shares on X this month:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

15 shares on Threads this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Breaking via Slack:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Making waves on Threads:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Live now on Facebook:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on X:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨