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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on Slack:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Seen just now on Messenger:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

2 months ago

0

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of mastering useless skills! 🤹‍♂️ Who needs practical talents when you can juggle expertise in things like making the perfect paper airplane and reciting outdated movie quotes? 🔮 Embrace your unique set of useless skills and dazzle the world with your wonderfully unhelpful abilities! 🎩✨"

humor, i, particular, set, skills, talent, uniqueness, useless

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

0

4 weeks ago

anyone, concern, education, else, fear, future, generation, generations, illiteracy, illiterate, next, scared, stupid, stupidity, youth
If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

0

2 months ago

animation, anything, cartoons, cliff, comedy, fall, humor, irony, little, satire, slapstick, taught, umbrella, us, uselessness
Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

0

2 months ago

brag, casual, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, put, self-deprecating, sitting, sitting down, socks
I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

0

2 months ago

accident, boredom, boring, conversation, dead, death, die, drop, going, humor, illness, say, sentence, small, small talk, someone, talk, too
Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, dream, dream house, estate, every, house, humor, irony, perspective, real, real estate, wishes
This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

0

5 months ago

going, hell, humor, invisible, joke, media, only, post, secret, social, social media, spooky

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Threads this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Making waves on Instagram:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Making waves on Messenger:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Seen just now on Threads:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Going viral on Instagram:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Going bananas on Discord:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Just shared via X:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

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