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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Trending via YouTube:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Going viral on X:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Live now on WeChat:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Just landed via Threads:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

I have a yearning disability.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I have a yearning disability – the struggle is real! My heart is always dreaming of snacks instead of success 🍕💭 #SnackAttack"

disability, humor, i, longing, wit, yearning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

0

2 months ago

activity, aspiration, books, career, dream, dream job, figures, fun, fun activity, got, i, job, leisure, paid, park, reading, relaxation, six, six figures, wish
I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

0

2 months ago

doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, just, lips, self-care, skin
Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

0

2 months ago

casual, casual greeting, cream, getting, greeting, humor, ice, ice cream, intention
If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

0

4 months ago

after, choice, elevator, excellent, floor, humor, interaction, joke, laugh, pity, pity laugh, say, social, social interaction, somebody
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women
My phone screen is brighter than my future.

0

2 months ago

bright, future, humor, joke, optimism, phone, screen, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

20 shares on YouTube this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a yearning disability.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨