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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Spotted on Telegram:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Just landed via Reddit:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Freshly posted on X:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

I have a yearning disability.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I have a yearning disability – the struggle is real! My heart is always dreaming of snacks instead of success 🍕💭 #SnackAttack"

disability, humor, i, longing, wit, yearning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

2 months ago
casual, casual language, favorite, favorite part, grab, humor, i, language, leave, leaving, life, office, office humor, quitting, quitting time, shit, time, work, work life, workday
Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

1 month ago
accusation, AI, claim, era, false, false claim, getting, humor, misunderstanding, modern, modern era, suspicion, technology, trial, using, version, witch, witch trial
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

1 month ago
alcohol, comedy, decisions, drinking, humor, i, influence, influencers, lifestyle, making, media, old fashioned, social, social media, thanks, under
What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

1 month ago
actually, ancient, ancient art, ancient Greece, art, greece, greek, Greek sculpture, humor, Medusa, myth, mythology, sculpture
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

1 month ago
advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, myself, need, self-talk, talk
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

5 months ago
awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a yearning disability.

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

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I have a yearning disability.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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