Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Going bananas on X:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Trending via Messenger:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

I have a yearning disability.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I have a yearning disability – the struggle is real! My heart is always dreaming of snacks instead of success 🍕💭 #SnackAttack"

disability, humor, i, longing, wit, yearning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

0

2 months ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list
If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad time, conversation, exactly, humor, just, mean, meaning, relationship, time, warning
Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, frustration, humor, life, password, technology, TV, typing
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, dog, humor, intelligence, pet, sled, snow
I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

0

2 months ago

grounded, humor, i, responsibility, self-deprecation, shoulders, stay, weight, world
I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

0

2 months ago

bad, humor, i, irony, much, offer, self-deprecation, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just shared via Instagram:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Going viral on Reddit:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Trending via Snapchat:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just landed via Slack:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a yearning disability.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨