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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Just trying to see if I'm a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂"

boredom, checking, humor, i, keep, loneliness, me, mean, media, phone, self-deprecating, silly, social, social media, somebody, something, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

2 months ago
attendance, class, college, core, core class, home, learning, self, self learning, sit, teach, teach yourself, yourself
Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

1 month ago
communication, humor, mind, mind reader, playful, question, reader, wit
Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

1 month ago
couple, daily, daily life, day, every, exactly, excuse, expectation, humor, i, late, life, past, routine, sorry, traffic
“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

1 month ago
dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks
Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

4 months ago
communication, exclusion, humor, interaction, leave, loop, me, please, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

1 month ago
difference, education, grammar, humor, joke, knowing, language, shit, wordplay, writing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Going viral on YouTube:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Trending via WeChat:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on Facebook:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

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Activity Log ✨

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

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I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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