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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Just shared via TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Trending via Messenger:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Spotted on Facebook:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Live now on WeChat:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Going viral on WeChat:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Just landed via Messenger:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Just landed via YouTube:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When bugs start talking, I'm going to need a translator app ASAP! 🐞😂👀

bug, bugs, humor, insect, joke, say, talk, talking, talking bug, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

0

2 months ago

activity, arts, chi, crazy, exercise, funny activity, humor, martial, martial arts, motion, slow, slow motion, tai, Tai Chi, tantrum, throwing
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

0

2 months ago

apartment, app, clean, cleaning, coming, dating, dating app, deception, girl, hell, hot, hot girl, humor, i, match, motivation, over, prank, pretending, roommate, tell, Tinder
Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

0

2 months ago

bed, count, exercise, fitness, getting, humor, laziness, motivation, resistance, should, training
I am half agony, half hope.

0

2 months ago

agony, am, contrast, emotion, half, hope, humor, i, irony, struggle, wit
The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, craving, food, humor, i, indulgence, minute, next, only, problem, snack, sweetness
It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

0

3 months ago

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

95 shares on X this month:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Going viral on WeChat:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Spotted on WeChat:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Making waves on X:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

I am half agony, half hope.

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨