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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,947

Funny Quotes Topics

14,753

Funny Quotes Images

11,947

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Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Reported on Threads:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Just landed via Facebook:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

4 hours ago

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Commentary:
When bugs start talking, I'm going to need a translator app ASAP! 🐞😂👀

bug, bugs, humor, insect, joke, say, talk, talking, talking bug, things

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Reported on WhatsApp:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Live now on Telegram:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

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If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Muting morons is good for your health.

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

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If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

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