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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Just shared via Facebook:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Shared recently on Threads:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Going viral on Telegram:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Trending via Threads:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Take cover, folks! 😂 I'm just warming up and already teetering on the edge of my crazy quota! 🚀🙃"

attitude, close, crazy, entitlement, even, health, humor, legal, legally, mental, mental health, personality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

2 months ago

alone, Friday, frustration, humor, i, independence, introvert, leave, me, please, ran, small, small talk, solitude, talk, Tuesday
I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

2 months ago

absolutely, desire, humor, i, loop, sarcasm, stay
Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

2 months ago

affection, comparison, flower, humor, i, love, me, phone, relationship, sun, teenager
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

2 months ago

being, call, called, communication, humor, joke, life, lot, nothing, phone, sarcasm, things, worse
I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

2 months ago

back, differently, Friday, humor, i, need, procrastination, thinking, time, time travel, travel, want, weekend, wishful, wishful thinking
Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

2 weeks ago

different, disappointment, eating, food, humor, money, pain, spending, type

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on X this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Going viral on Slack:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Going viral on Messenger:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Going viral on Twitch:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Going viral on Messenger:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨