Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Seen just now on Threads:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Just landed via TikTok:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Spotted on Threads:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Just landed via X:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Trending via Slack:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

1 month ago

Witty text highlighting aging humor with a nostalgic, playful tone about childhood crafts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, your history books must have had a section on dinosaurs! 🦖📚🚬

age, ashtray, Christmas, gift, humor, i, nostalgia, old, old age, parent, parents, saying, school

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

85 shares on Discord this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Keep the laugh going 😂

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨