Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a regular book when you can have one that literally speaks to you? 📚🗣️ It's like having a personal storyteller on demand! 🎧😄 #AudiobookGoals"

audiobook, believe, book, entertainment, found, humor, i, listening, literature, me, reading, self-discovery

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

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4 weeks ago

budget, finance, humor, i, money, monthly, monthly budget, personal, personal finance, sarcasm, tight, tight budget, whisper
Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

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2 months ago

bullied, crazy, family, getting, here, humor, kids, parenthood, parenting, people
Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

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2 months ago

Facebook, humor, media, own, pass, procrastination, social, social media, time
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

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2 months ago

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

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2 months ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty
I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

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2 months ago

being, devices, humor, humor quote, i, independence, left, love, own, solitude, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

They’re making me do work at work.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

77 shares on Discord this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Seen just now on YouTube:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Just shared via X:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Seen just now on X:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨