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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Just shared via Messenger:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Live now on Pinterest:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Trending via Threads:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Discord:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why do jeans always get cold feet right before laundry day? Must be their "clean constriction" kicking in! 👖🌀😄

clothing, humor, jean, jeans, laundry, looking, neat, neatness, tendency, wash, washing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

0

2 months ago

book, careful, caution, death, die, health, health book, humor, irony, life, misprint, reading
Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

0

3 months ago

apparently, even, finance, financial, financial problem, going, humor, i, issue, just, life, life struggle, lot, money, money issue, need, personal, personal finance, problem, struggle, through
I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

0

2 months ago

always, bathroom, buddy, companionship, humor, i, middle, sit, social, stall
Enjoy the time between diapers!

0

2 months ago

baby, diapers, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, life, moments, parenting, time
We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

0

2 months ago

break, evolution, humor, irony, life, observation, oh, people, think, too
Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

24 shares on X this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

60 shares on X this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

14 shares on Twitch this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Going viral on X:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Trending via Telegram:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Going viral on TikTok:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Trending via Messenger:

Half princess, half menace.

Going viral on X:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨