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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Just landed via TikTok:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Spotted on Telegram:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Spotted on YouTube:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

1 month ago

Witty quote about missing innocent crushes over complicated love calculations, playful and humorous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did my heart turn into a math class I didn't sign up for? 🤔🦋❤️📊

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

70 shares on Discord this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Going viral on Instagram:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Live now on Facebook:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Just shared via Facebook:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Going viral on Instagram:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨