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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Just shared via Messenger:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Making waves on WeChat:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just landed via Slack:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Live now on YouTube:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Just landed via Threads:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did my heart turn into a math class I didn't sign up for? 🤔🦋❤️📊

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

0

2 months ago

always, expectation, fault, humor, i, responsibility, sarcasm, self-reflection, someone, well
It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

coke, craving, fridge, hard, humor, knowing, procrastination, sleep, soda, temptation
Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

0

5 days ago

before, check, check yourself, culture, humor, meme, movie, movie quote, pop, pop culture, pun, Shrek, yourself
Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

0

5 days ago

butter, cooking, emphasis, enough, food, food preference, humor, i, preference, salted, salted butter, seasoning, stress
Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

0

2 months ago

adopted, biologically, dog, humor, i, me, mine, pet, response, someone, whenever
Relationship status: he escaped.

0

2 months ago

break up, dating, escape, humor, love, relationship, single, status

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

98 shares on X this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

33 shares on Reddit this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Making waves on Discord:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Trending via X:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Live now on WeChat:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Relationship status: he escaped.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨