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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,823

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Just landed via Twitch:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Going viral on Messenger:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, forget reality then – we're all just living in a simulation at this point! 🤷‍♂️🕹️ #2020vibes"

2019, after, being, humor, life, perception, real, reality, stopped, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

1 month ago

actually, alcohol, drug, enhancement, expectations, humor, irony, performance
One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

2 months ago

bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train
Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

1 month ago

commitment, fix, humor, lady, man, need, procrastination, relationship, reminder
Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

1 month ago

12, 3, 4, before, charge, comedy, directing, episodes, films, humor, movie, movie order, order, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, Yoda
Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

4 months ago

attention, attention to detail, baby, confidence, detail, flirtation, humor, me, sexy, study
My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

2 months ago

bath, breakfast, cinnamon, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, crunch, doctor, food, funny idea, humor, idea, joke, me, milk, milk bath, self-care, toast, told, try

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Just landed via Reddit:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Live now on Telegram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Just shared via Messenger:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Just landed via Discord:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

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Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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