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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Breaking via Facebook:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Playful quote about feeling disconnected from reality since 2019.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, forget reality then – we're all just living in a simulation at this point! 🤷‍♂️🕹️ #2020vibes"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Trending via X:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Making waves on Messenger:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just shared via Messenger:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

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