Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,894

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Going viral on Twitch:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Shared recently on TikTok:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Just landed via TikTok:

Alexa, mute my children.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays should come with a warning label: "Proceed with caution and extra coffee!" ☕️😂

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

0

1 month ago

bed, daily, daily struggle, day, dealing, getting, humor, interaction, introvert, morning, nothing, people, social, social interaction, struggle
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

0

2 months ago

away, cops, escape, humor, introvert, okay, police, run, run away, shy
Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

0

1 month ago

feelings, humor, i, lot, plan, planned, relationship, surprise
Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

0

1 month ago

activity, back, digital, digital life, hi, humor, internet, internet humor, know, leaving, life, me, media, online, online activity, place, returning, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, user
Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

0

2 months ago

bankruptcy, containers, humor, lid, news, pun, storage, Tupperware

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

55 shares on Messenger this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

65 shares on X this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

22 shares on Discord this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

78 shares on Threads this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Just shared via Reddit:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on Threads:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Just shared via Threads:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Trending via Snapchat:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Live now on Reddit:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Just landed via Threads:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨