My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.