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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Jan 6, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Going viral on YouTube:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Just shared via Messenger:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Live now on Slack:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

2 months ago

0

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the struggle is real for all of us non-teleporters out here 🚫🌀 Just imagine the savings on gas, the joy of avoiding rush hour traffic, and the satisfaction of instantly appearing wherever you want like a boss 😂 Who needs teleportation when you've got patience, right? 😉 #TeleportationWoes

able, being, frustration, huge, humor, inconvenience, me, sci-fi, teleport, thinking, travel, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

0

2 months ago

again, beauty, beauty routine, blow-drying, grooming, humor, legs, need, routine, self-care, shave, time, too
Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

0

2 months ago

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member
If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

0

2 months ago

Airwrecka, call, daughter, Erica, ever, going, humor, i, name, spell, spelling
Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, dating advice, friend, friends, friendship, gratitude, hot, hot friend, hotter, humor, later, me, relationship, rush, thank
I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, humor, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, preferences, self-awareness, social
Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

0

2 months ago

fast, humor, joke, play, play on words, quickie, secs, speed, time, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Making waves on Discord:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Just shared via Threads:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Shared recently on Slack:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Making waves on Threads:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Trending via TikTok:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Trending via Instagram:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Spotted on Reddit:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

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