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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Just shared via TikTok:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Trending via Discord:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a fireplace when you have spicy punctuation keeping things toasty; 🔥📚😏

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

0

2 months ago

back, comeback, humor, irony, life, men, relationship, ruin, story, whole
The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

0

2 months ago

day, frustration, handed, humor, i, impatience, joke, left, patience, sarcasm, taking, too, waiting
There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

0

2 months ago

communication, fundamental, fundamental issue, humor, interact, interaction, issue, LinkedIn, media, networking, people, social, social media, something, wrong
No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

0

2 months ago

better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show
I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

apology, cause, gain, harm, honesty, humor, i, lie, manipulation, material, material gain, only, prove, psychological, psychological harm, sarcasm, smarter, sorry
They should invent a day where I don’t think.

0

2 months ago

day, don’t, don’t think, humor, humor quote, i, invent, should, think, thought, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

93 shares on Discord this month:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Live now on TikTok:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Breaking via Instagram:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Trending via Facebook:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Spotted on Discord:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨