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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Spotted on Telegram:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Making waves on Reddit:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Going viral on Slack:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Breaking via Discord:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Just shared via WeChat:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, who knew my life had so much in common with outer space? 🌠🔥😅

astronomy, burning, burnout, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, meteor, meteor shower, nature, nothing, observation, remind, shower, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Donuts hug you from the inside.

0

2 months ago

comfort, donut, donuts, food, hug, humor, inside, snack, sweetness
The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, desperation, fingers, humor, i, intelligence, know, technology, thing
Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

0

1 month ago

adulting, bed, comfort, excited, excitement, getting, home, humor, life, relaxation
“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

0

2 months ago

actually, culture, entertainment, humor, i, irony, movie, need, news, pop, pop culture, reality, tried, villain, watching, where
Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

0

2 months ago

activity, boredom, door, doorbell, front, front door, fun, fun activity, happiness, happy, i, joy, sheer, sheer boredom, unexpected, unexpected joy
You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

0

2 months ago

anger, emotions, experience, family, humor, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Making waves on Slack:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Broadcasted on X:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Seen just now on Threads:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Just shared via YouTube:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Going bananas on Slack:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Going viral on Messenger:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Donuts hug you from the inside.

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨