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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Seen just now on Discord:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Just landed via Discord:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Just landed via Discord:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Just shared via Slack:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, who knew my life had so much in common with outer space? 🌠🔥😅

astronomy, burning, burnout, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, meteor, meteor shower, nature, nothing, observation, remind, shower, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

0

2 months ago

communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever
Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, app, app update, change, changes, digital, digital annoyance, everyday, everyday life, format, format change, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, mad, me, new, rearranged, store, technology, update, updates, user, user frustration
I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

0

2 months ago

car, casual, casual wear, clothing, dressing, fashion, getting, humor, i, just, meant, outfit, outfits, straight, style, think, wardrobe, wear
Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

0

3 weeks ago

anxiety, drink, glass, humor, ice-cold, pouring, stress
Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

0

2 months ago

bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace
I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

0

2 months ago

cape, humor, lazy, procrastination, relaxation, super, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

62 shares on Slack this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

13 shares on Slack this month:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I only drink when I people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Spotted on WeChat:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Just shared via Threads:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Going viral on Twitch:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨