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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Live now on LinkedIn:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Seen just now on Slack:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Just landed via Threads:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

1 month ago

Playful quote about reassuring a pet with humorous wordplay involving Dubai.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Lil Labubu is getting a first-class upgrade from the crying queue to the shopping spree aisle! 🛍️✈️😆

comfort, cry, crying, Dubai, humor, Lil, nickname, reassurance, wordplay

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30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just landed via Discord:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Trending via Messenger:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Just shared via Reddit:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Making waves on Discord:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Trending via Reddit:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨