One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.