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Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

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“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

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Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

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90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

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My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

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Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

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Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

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Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

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I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

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I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.