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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Making waves on X:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Just landed via Telegram:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Shared recently on Slack:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Just shared via Messenger:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Going viral on Facebook:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Trending via TikTok:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm considering forming a union with my brain voices, but negotiations are proving difficult! 😂🧠✌️

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, caught, feeling, humor, just, lighthearted, miyagi, moth, mr., Mr. Miyagi, nature, outdoor, outside, sent, sent back
“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

0

2 months ago

actually, comedy, daily, daily grind, fresh, frustration, grind, hell, humor, irony, repetition, same, sarcasm, yesterday
Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, again, high, high school, humor, i, independence, interaction, never, nostalgia, peak, people, realization, school, social, social interaction
Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

0

2 months ago

approach, babe, convention, dating, flirting, hot, hot babe, humor, line, love, pickup, pickup line, say, street, town, women
And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drinking, honesty, humor, say, think, vodka, whisper
Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

0

2 months ago

behavior, check, Christmas, humor, just, list, media, naughty, naughty list, online, online behavior, Santa, social, social media, technology, tradition

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Discord this month:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Going viral on Instagram:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Spotted on WeChat:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Just shared via Twitch:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Going viral on X:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Going viral on Threads:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Breaking via Instagram:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨