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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Live now on Pinterest:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Breaking via Slack:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Spotted on Slack:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Breaking via Threads:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Just shared via Slack:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Autumn vibes: when questionable decisions turn into seasonal decor! 🍁🎃

fall, flag, humor, orange, paint, red, red flag, relationship, seasonal, sign, warning, warning sign

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

0

2 months ago

bored, danger, dangerous, excitement, fun, humor, mischief, warned, warning
That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

0

2 months ago

car, depressing, depression, disappointment, expectation, explode, humor, moment, start, work
I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

0

3 months ago

balm, beauty, beauty rest, bedtime, bedtime routine, being, care, girl, girly, girly girl, going, i, just, lip, lip balm, love, moisturized, rest, routine, scent, self, self-care, skincare, sleep, soft
Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, choices, fun, humor, i, irresponsible, irresponsible adult, life, life choices, responsibility, responsible, responsible adult, tired
A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

0

2 months ago

accurate, dark, dark web, description, humor, internet, joke, satire, technology, web
You can reach me by butterfly.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, communication, creativity, humor, lighthearted, me, nature, reach, whimsical

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

44 shares on X this month:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

17 shares on Slack this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

14 shares on X this month:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Going bananas on Threads:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Trending via Slack:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Just landed via WeChat:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Going bananas on Slack:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

You can reach me by butterfly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨