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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,970

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Going bananas on Threads:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Spotted on Reddit:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Trending via Snapchat:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just trying to make stairs the next runway, one step at a time! 💃📏😂"

baggy, baggy pant, ballgown, behavior, contrast, fashion, fashion contrast, funny behavior, hem, pant, pants, picking, stairs, walk, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

1 month ago

blues, humor, invention, January, live, motivation, seasonal, seasonal blues, should, winter
I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

2 months ago

bed, bed hogging, cat, hell, hogging, humor, i, love, mattress, much, pet, queen-size, queen-size mattress, size, sleep, small, small size, take
For whom the doom scrolls!

1 month ago

doom, humor, internet, irony, media, procrastination, reading, scroll, social, social media
You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

1 month ago

awkward, awkward situation, experience, first experience, forget, hr, humor, kiss, meeting, memory, never, situation, workplace, workplace humor
For Halloween, I will be okay.

2 months ago

Halloween, holiday, humor, i, okay, reassurance
I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

1 month ago

craft, exam, final, final exam, humor, looming, qualification, study, weaver

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Breaking via TikTok:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Just landed via X:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Live now on Reddit:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Spotted on WeChat:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

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Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

For whom the doom scrolls!

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

For Halloween, I will be okay.

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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