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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

They’re making me do work at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

29 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Shared recently on Discord:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just shared via Threads:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Trending via Discord:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Spotted on YouTube:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

5 months ago

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

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Commentary:
"Remember, even your favorite dessert starts to lose its appeal if you have it every single day! 🍰✨ Keep your social interactions spicy by giving yourself a break from certain individuals…because 'out of sight, out of mind' can sometimes be a blessing in disguise! 😉🔇"

alone, alone time, fasting, humor, importance, important, people, self-care, social, sometimes, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

29 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Going viral on Telegram:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Going viral on Messenger:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Spotted on Facebook:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Spotted on WeChat:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

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