Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Going viral on Reddit:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Trending via Instagram:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

6 days ago

Humorous quote about the importance of solitude and taking breaks from others.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, even your favorite dessert starts to lose its appeal if you have it every single day! 🍰✨ Keep your social interactions spicy by giving yourself a break from certain individuals…because 'out of sight, out of mind' can sometimes be a blessing in disguise! 😉🔇"

alone, alone time, fasting, humor, importance, important, people, self-care, social, sometimes, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Just landed via Facebook:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Just shared via X:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Just shared via Facebook:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴