Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Going viral on Discord:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Going bananas on X:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Seen just now on Threads:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess converting files is just as elusive as Epstein’s client list! 🔍🤔📂

conspiracy, Epstein, Epstein file, figure, file, humor, joke, PDF, real, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, child, development, humor, i, know, knowledge, linguistic, linguistic development, nothing, parenting, stage, why, why stage
You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

0

2 months ago

afraid, confidence, dating, humor, i, know, love, me, media, relationship, social, social media, unfollow
If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

0

2 months ago

Alpha, alpha female, bedtime, dating, dragon, else, female, humor, know, need, night, personality, relationship, turn
Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

0

2 months ago

care, honesty, humor, i, indifference, me, safe, secret, trust
Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

0

2 months ago

childhood, computer, desktop, family, guys, memory, nostalgia, remember, share, technology, whole
I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

42 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Shared recently on X:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Just landed via WeChat:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Spotted on Instagram:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Breaking via TikTok:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Going viral on Slack:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Seen just now on Slack:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨