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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Seen just now on X:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Just shared via Instagram:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Going viral on Messenger:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Spreading quickly via X:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still waiting for that day to appear on my calendar 😂🗓️🤔

clarity, day, humor, invent, invention, sense, should, thinking, where, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

0

2 months ago

adult, bee, challenge, competition, feel, humble, humor, i, literacy, lot, spelling, spelling bee, us
The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

0

1 month ago

coffee, dangerous, drinking, game, i, most, play, seeing
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

0

2 months ago

brain, humor, moment, morning, office, organ, productivity, stop, wake, wake up, work, working
Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

0

4 months ago

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong
Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

0

2 months ago

humor, insight, irony, otherwise, people, personality, wisdom, wise
My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

0

2 months ago

condiment, favorite, food, hard, humor, joke, pun, sauce, say, taste, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

77 shares on Threads this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

59 shares on Discord this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

91 shares on Discord this month:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Trending via Twitch:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just landed via Discord:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Breaking via Reddit:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Trending via Telegram:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨