Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Just landed via Twitch:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just shared via Messenger:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Breaking via Snapchat:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Broadcasted on Slack:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living my best life… one mediocre decision at a time! 😂👌✨

attitude, best, effort, humor, i, job, life, living, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

5 months ago

deception, hate, honesty, i, idiot, liar, think, trust, truth
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

3 months ago

bed, eyes, humor, longing, miss, sad, sleep, tiredness, water, yawn
My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

2 months ago

body, body lotion, comedy, favorite, health, humor, joke, lotion, medicine, medicine joke, pain, pain relief, relief, Voltaren
I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

2 months ago

cooking, drawer, humor, i, kitchen, kitchenware, mishap, open, organization, put, spatula, time
Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

2 months ago

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed
Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

3 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

64 shares on X this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

35 shares on Threads this month:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Broadcasted on Threads:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Going viral on Threads:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Live now on YouTube:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Just shared via Twitch:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Shared recently on Reddit:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨