When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.