Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Just shared via Slack:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Spotted on Reddit:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hydration and moderation? Who needs them when you can scroll indefinitely like a dehydrated cactus! 🌵💧📱

detox, digital, digital detox, drink, health, humor, hydration, limit, me, please, reminder, screen, screen time, self-care, someone, technology, time, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

0

2 months ago

beginning, behavior, call, cute, cute quirk, humor, later, little, motive, odd, odd behavior, partners, people, police, quirk, quirks, relationship
If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

0

2 months ago

confidence, envy, fashion, humor, i, media, Pinterest, social, social media, style, wardrobe, wardrobe envy
I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

0

2 months ago

90s, culture, debt, finance, humor, late, late 90s, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, ringtone, still, technology, trying
Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

0

2 months ago

challenges, cowshed, humor, life, metaphor, next, perspective, step, struggle, turd
I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

0

2 months ago

confusion, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, i, know, relatable, sleep, still, tired
When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, move, moves, packing, relationship, travel, trip, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

72 shares on X this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just shared via Facebook:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Going viral on Threads:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on Facebook:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨