Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Making waves on X:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Trending via TikTok:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Making waves on YouTube:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"According to your ex, you suffer from a severe condition known as 'being yourself.' 😉 Seems like a rare diagnosis indeed! 🤷‍♂️ #ExFiles"

, , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

38 shares on X this month:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

41 shares on X this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Trending via Messenger:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Breaking via Messenger:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Live now on Threads:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Breaking via Pinterest:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Freshly posted on X:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Breaking via Twitch:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴