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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Going viral on Facebook:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Just shared via X:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Making waves on Threads:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Going viral on Discord:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Just landed via WeChat:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Going bananas on Discord:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Trending via Discord:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Playful quote teasing someone's lively personality with witty humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, the room feels a bit dim without it, don't you think? 🌟💁‍♂️ Let's turn up the charm dial and bring back that sparkling personality! ✨😄"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Threads this month:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

65 shares on Slack this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please twerk; I have just days left.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Making waves on Twitch:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Trending via Discord:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

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