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Talk about thinking you're untouchable—those geese must have been former traffic wardens in a past life!
Author Archives: slickboy
Being underestimated is my favorite plot twist.
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Every time someone underestimates me, I feel like the surprise twist in the final scene of a poorly-organized mystery novel.
Hobbies include opening and closing apps.
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Mastering the ancient art of app surfing, one tap at a time.
Spring is coming, and suddenly everyone remembers they enjoy life.
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Ah, the annual spring awakening—when even the grumpiest neighbor starts acting like a Disney character!
I post for my other personalities. They’re huge fans.
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Does each personality get its own password, or do they all share one?
The official signal to go to sleep isn’t yawning. It’s dropping your phone directly onto your own face.
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Clearly, my phone thinks it's time for a bedtime face slam reminder!
No substance I ever used was abused. It was loved.
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That's one way to keep your vices happy—just call it a complicated relationship!
There was a time when Marilyn Manson was the scariest concept in America.
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Remember when parents thought eyeliner and loud music were the real threats to society? Simpler times.
Always the drunk texter, never the drunk textee.
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Living proof that typos find me funnier than other people's texts.
Going no contact with myself.
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Guess it's time to ghost my own thoughts for a while!