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Okay, just five more cat videos and then I'll save the world! 😸📱🌍
Author Archives: slickboy
All I think about is death and sex.
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Balancing life's two inevitables: some exit strategies and entry plans! 💀😂❤️
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.
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When it comes to procrastination, I'm basically a Jedi Master 🕒😂✨
I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.
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Embracing my solo adventures like a pro—clearly, I was a real troublemaker in a past life! 😜🤷♂️ #KarmaStrikesAgain
“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.
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Is it time for an excavation or am I just digging myself into a philosophical hole? 🕳️🔍😂
Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.
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Why stop at a sweater? I bet a snowsuit would look fire on her too! ❄️😄🧥
Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.
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When your research sources are vibes, dreams, and a magic 8 ball 🎱✨🔮
The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.
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When your salad has more frequent flyer miles than you do 🥗💸✈️
I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.
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Finally, a legal requirement we can all stand behind – free us from endless scrolling, one app at a time! 🚫📱🎉
Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.
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Kevin Costner better have some serious dance moves if he's taming two wolves at once! 🐺💃🐺