Commentary:
I guess Netflix has figured out my secret dual identity as a rom-com lover with a hidden passion for alien documentaries. 🍿👽😂
Author Archives: slickboy
Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.
Commentary:
Wow, reading Shakespeare feels like unlocking the "Where'd That Phrase Come From?" achievement on every page! 😄📜✨
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?
Commentary:
When God's life plan feels more like a rough draft than a final copy 😂✏️
Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.
Commentary:
When my standards started needing a crane to lift them, I knew it was time for a change! 😂🍹🚫
My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect time to join the endangered species list with some ice cream and a cozy blanket! 🐢🍦🛋️
Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.
Commentary:
When life gives you people, make sure there's an escape plan 🍋🚪😂
Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.
Commentary:
When I go out, the only thing that turns into a pumpkin is my bank account! 🎃💸
Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.
Commentary:
Count me in! Who needs sleep when we can have romantic eye bags together? 😴❤️🥰
I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.
Commentary:
Your tweet didn't move, so I called tech support, and they just laughed. 🤷♂️🦥🐦
I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.
Commentary:
Awkwardness level: Expert 🎩🤓💃