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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Just shared via Instagram:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Spotted on Slack:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Breaking via Telegram:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Trending via Discord:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize your bookshelf has more TBR than books you've actually read 📚🤔 #BookCollectorInDisguise

actually, books, buying, different, hobby, humor, leisure, pastime, reading

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, humor, i, name, Sassy, women
Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

0

2 months ago

before, horrible, humor, i, live, living, mindset, sarcasm, should, someone, speak, think
Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, decision, due, humor, i, not wanting, wanting, will not be
It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

0

1 week ago

attention, attention seeker, birthday, conversation, embarrassing, embarrassment, every, feel, humor, me, need, seeker, tell, today
If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

0

2 months ago

having, head, health, humor, looking, me, mental, mental health, myself, self-reflection, self-talk, session, therapy, zoned, zoned out
“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

0

2 months ago

attitude, close, crazy, entitlement, even, health, humor, legal, legally, mental, mental health, personality

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

37 shares on Threads this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Live now on Facebook:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨