Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Going viral on Telegram:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Just landed via Slack:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just shared via Telegram:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Trending via Twitch:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Breaking via YouTube:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize your bookshelf has more TBR than books you've actually read 📚🤔 #BookCollectorInDisguise

actually, books, buying, different, hobby, humor, leisure, pastime, reading

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

0

2 months ago

applaud, before, boo, crash, guy, humor, irony, pilot, plane, reaction, right
I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

0

2 months ago

age, always, fast, humor, i, life, old, realization, surprise, time
The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

0

2 months ago

ad, ads, advertisement, dumb, dumbest, frustration, humor, moron, sarcasm, thing, think, YouTube, YouTube ad
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home
Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

0

2 months ago

around, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, life, load, properly, relationship, women
I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

0

5 months ago

am, crazy, humor, i, LA, life, lifestyle, living, madness, phrase, Spanish, Spanish phrase, vida, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Discord this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

92 shares on X this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Shared recently on X:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Spotted on WeChat:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Trending via Slack:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Making waves on Slack:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Making waves on X:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Blink if you want me!

Spotted on WeChat:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨