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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Trending via Discord:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

1 week ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Humans: basically just complicated food processors 🍽️➡️💩🤣

body, crazy, digestion, dinner, humor, organ, organs, poop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

1 month ago
activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing
Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

2 months ago
expression, freedom, freedom of speech, humor, idiots, irony, know, society, speech
If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

1 month ago
boss, breakfast, cheese, croissant, end, food, going, ham, hour, humor, joke, late, lateness, office, prank, sure, surprise, text, texting, workplace, workplace humor
Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

2 months ago
confusion, directions, humor, i, irony, lost, me, people, travel, wonder
Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

2 months ago
convenience, drinking, experience, feeling, fun, home, money, night, night out, nothing, pub, sure
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

1 month ago
career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Seen just now on Threads:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Going viral on Reddit:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Spotted on Discord:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Breaking via WeChat:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Breaking via Facebook:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

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Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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