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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Just landed via X:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Trending via Instagram:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Going bananas on Reddit:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about pre-annoyance, capturing playful anticipation of future irritation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I call it psychic irritation, and I'm never wrong 😂🔮😤

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

42 shares on X this month:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

May the algorithms be with you.

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

May the algorithms be with you.

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨