Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Spotted on Twitch:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Trending via WeChat:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Just landed via Messenger:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Going viral on YouTube:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I call it psychic irritation, and I'm never wrong 😂🔮😤

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

0

2 months ago

around, humble, humor, i, morning, morning routine, rooster, routine, scream, wake, wake up, wander
Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

0

2 months ago

calm, evening, humor, joke, leisure, meditation, relaxation, relief, soothe, stress, stress relief
An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

0

2 months ago

asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well
My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

0

2 months ago

change, chasing, humor, lake, lakes, music, music reference, new, new year, reference, resolution, river, stick, stick to, stop, used, used to, waterfall, year
Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

0

2 months ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, drink, energized, even, feel, game, humor, i, just, love, me, routine
It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

0

2 months ago

diet, eat, eating, fitness, food, health, humor, i, just, less, simple, simplicity, want, weigh, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

14 shares on X this month:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Going viral on WeChat:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Just shared via Slack:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Going viral on Messenger:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Just shared via Discord:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Spotted on YouTube:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨