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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Just shared via WeChat:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Freshly posted on Threads:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Live now on LinkedIn:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Broadcasted on X:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Making waves on Telegram:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of silence—it's like a spa day for the ears! 🧖‍♀️🤫🎧

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

65 shares on Threads this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

17 shares on X this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

55 shares on Slack this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Just landed via Facebook:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Live now on Threads:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Going bananas on X:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

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